Do you have more vision than you do energy at the moment? Do you have big dreams and real responsibilities, but you find yourself more tired and depleted than energized and motivated? C.S. Lewis once wrote, “It’s not the load that weighs you down, it’s the way you carry it.” Touché.
God has called you and anointed you for good works. The calling on your life isn’t too great or burdensome for you; but you may be weighed down by the way you are currently walking out your calling. In my own life, I can look back on times when I felt most exhausted and unmotivated, and it wasn’t because I was unsure of what God had assigned me to. I wasn’t unclear on the mission, but I was unintentional with where I spent my energy.
Here are the top 10 habits that were robbing me of my energy (and often my joy). I have seen these same energy-suckers at play in many women’s lives. By identifying them, and proactively changing these habits with much healthier ones, I pray you rediscover a strength and vibrancy to follow Jesus where He leads you with peace, joy, and faith!
1. Allowing digital distractions during your daily devotions.
Spending time each day reading Scripture, praying and journaling will absolutely transform your thinking, shape your beliefs and invigorate your faith. It’s one of the primary ways we can seek the Lord daily and grow attuned to His voice and leading in our lives. Often though, the sacredness of these habits can be diluted by notifications on our phone. We’ve all been there. One minute we are entering the Holy of Holies… the next minute we are shopping for our fall collection or checking the weather forecast or replying to that work email.
Ditch your devices to spend some uninterrupted time in God’s presence each day. When we seek the Lord free of distraction, we are in a much better heart and head space to commune with the Lord. Truthfully, He deserves our undivided attention, and when we worship Him that way, we are refreshed and renewed.
2. Replacing Sabbath with obligations and errands.
The Sabbath is holy, set apart and a gift from God. We need Sabbath, but if we aren’t careful, we can allow subtle forms of work to creep into days we set apart for rest. Maybe it’s an errand here or there or a birthday party or a work event or an airport pickup request from a friend. Listen, there are times when the best way to worship the Lord on the Sabbath is to help our neighbor. After all, Jesus healed on the Sabbath. Nine times out of ten though, work on the Sabbath isn’t necessary or beneficial. Protect the Sabbath. Honor it as sacred in your life. It’s God’s gift to you and without it, you will eventually succumb to burnout.
3. Sacrificing the quantity and quality of sleep with late night vegging.
One of the dumbest things I heard a lot growing up in ministry was “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” The idea of neglecting sleep in the name of work was a badge of honor, but that’s not the way Jesus did ministry or life as we read in the Gospels. God created our bodies to need rest, and without it we are prone to not only lethargic living, but all sorts of illnesses and diseases that impact our physical and mental health. Prioritize your sleep. If you are too tired to do anything else but binge Netflix, then friend, turn off your screen and just go to bed.
4. Eating junk in the name of convenience.
What we eat impacts every aspect of our health, and it certainly impacts the energy we have day-to-day. I’m not asking you to embrace a granola-crunchy life (whatever that is), but I am kindly telling you that if you are eating ultra processed foods with ingredients you can’t pronounce, foods high in sugar and starches, snacking all the time, eating late at night, consuming multiple drinks of alcohol a week, addicted to coffee… then expect to be tired… all the time. Choose to be someone who is willing to make changes to how you eat not because it’s the latest diet fad, but because it will help you live the full life God designed you for.
5. Feeling too tired to move.
I know what it feels like to be so exhausted that the idea of exercise sounds like torture. In reality, movement gives you energy over time. Even if you are mentally drained and the last thing you want to do is go for a walk… go for the walk. Join the gym. Take up running. Get into Pilates. Turn your garage into an at-home gym with a set of dumbbells. Without ongoing movement, our overall health diminishes, and so does our day-to-day energy. Find what works for you, but make sure your training includes some strength-training and cardio.
6. Avoiding difficult conversations.
I really don’t like having difficult conversations. I know they come with the territory in leadership, and just, in life, really, but my natural inclination is to avoid conflict. Chances are you are like me. Putting off a hard conversation never helps a relationship, a church, an organization. It does the opposite. Not only does procrastination of this kind limit relational connectedness and organizational productivity, it also zaps us of our mental and emotional energy. It’s the thing we keep thinking about, getting frustrated over, worrying and over-analyzing. Stop wasting energy avoiding confrontation. Pray, put on your big girl pants, and begin in dialogue led by kindness and confidence.
7. Neglecting boundaries in the name of people-pleasing.
Women are exhausted at an alarming rate because they are trying to be all things to all people. Being a “yes” girl might gain you opportunities and favor, but without boundaries, it will most inevitably lead you to burnout. I would know— I’ve been there. You simply can’t be a #bosslady 24/7. You are going to let some people down, no matter how hard you try not to. Take a step back and get clear and who and what God has called you to and entrusted you with, and keep those your top priorities. When you get clear on what obedience and faithfulness before Jesus looks like for you, it makes saying “no” to requests, events, and responsibilities a whole lot simpler.
8. Cleaning up other people’s messes.
Remember in school when you had to work on the group project, and you ended up doing most of the work to make sure your group got a good grade? Yeah, well, some of us are still stuck in group projects carrying the weight that the people around us refuse to lift. It’s exhausting and it’s frustrating! So don’t do it! Of course there are times when we graciously step in to help others. Absolutely! There are also cases where coworkers, employees, friends, and family members know they don’t have to do their part because you will handle it. Quit stepping in. Let them learn responsibility and be held accountable in places they need to grow. Often we have a genuine desire to help out, but we end up enabling the irresponsibility of others while spreading ourselves too thin.