21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
-Matthew 18:21-35 NIV
No one is in a hurry to get their heart broken, their expectations unmet or their feelings hurt. No one voluntarily signs up to be misunderstood, taken advantage of, mistreated, rejected, or betrayed. But sometimes in life it’s just unavoidable.
We can’t always protect ourselves from the choices of others and the impact those choices make in our lives. We will get hurt, just like, sadly, we will hurt others. Life is messy that way.
However, just because life is messy doesn’t mean our lives have to be a mess. Despite disappointments and injustices, we can lead through every season of life wholeheartedly, full of love and hope through the practice of forgiveness.
As Christians, it is easy to preach forgiveness publicly, and yet, because of the hurts and losses we’ve experienced, personally harbor resentment and bitterness towards others. I know I have been guilty of this!
Often, we prolong or deny someone forgiveness because we feel that they are off the hook if we do, and justice will remain unserved. In reality, our own emotional wellbeing and mental health suffers the most. Someone once said that holding on to bitterness and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to harm another. In the end a refusal to forgive negatively impacts ourselves most of all, and sadly, often sabotages the way we live and lead in the future.
Forgiving someone who wronged you is usually easier said than done and, depending on the level of pain inflicted, may be more of a process than a single act. That’s okay. Healing from wounds, which may or may not include rebuilding trust and reconciling with another, takes time.
Forgiveness is possible though because of the way Christ has forgiven you. When you feel overwhelmed at the thought of forgiving another, meditate and reflect on how Jesus has forgiven you. Allow His radical mercy and extravagant grace to empower you to practice forgiveness. Ask the Holy Spirit to strengthen and encourage you as you forgive the way God has forgiven you!
The process of forgiveness may require professional help. If you feel stuck in your journey of forgiveness, invest in your wholeness by seeking professional Christian counseling. We all need a little help every now and then, and you are worth it!