The holiday season is upon us with Christmas and New Years just around the corner. We are inundated with messages of jolly and cheer, merry and bright. We sing Joy to the World and preach Peace on Earth, but we don’t always feel all that joyful or peaceful. Often, after a month of overspending, overcommitting and overeating while trying to navigate our to-do lists, expectations, mixed emotions, not to mention family and relational dynamics… we aren’t starting the new year filled with hope and expectation. Instead, we are discouraged. Depressed. Doubtful. Drained. Depleted.
This holiday season, I want to encourage you to reclaim what is holy about the holidays and to make choices that intentionally invest in your wellbeing. You don’t need to just survive the holidays; you can truly make the most of them. Here’s a few practices to help you connect with God and protect healthy habits this time of year:
1. Keep the main thing the main thing.
This Advent, prioritize time spent in scripture and in prayer reflecting on what Jesus’ birth means. Lean into love, hope, joy and peace. Seek the Lord intentionally and open your heart to new revelations about what it means to know and worship Immanuel, God with Us. Yes, to Christmas trees and Christmas cookies, gift exchanges and holiday parties, Elf on a Shelf and Jingle Bell Rock. But don’t miss your opportunity to grow closer to Jesus and to experience His presence in your life. That’s what matters the most.
2. You don’t have to say “yes” to everything (and please, don’t.)
‘Tis the season for holiday work shindigs and school recitals and Candlelight services and baking parties and getting your picture taken with Santa. It’s a busy time of year for most of us. If we say “yes” to every invite and every ask, at the end of the holiday season, we will most likely feel exhausted instead of refreshed. Choose your commitments wisely and with intention. You don’t have to attend everything, get a gift for everyone, or donate your time and money everywhere. Please, do say “yes” to opportunities to practice generosity and hospitality, but know that you probably can’t do it all, and that’s okay.
3. Create a budget and stick to it.
If you are anything like me, you love making the most of this season and can’t wait to decorate, host parties, plan your travel and go shopping! But before you dive head first into the festivities, why not set aside an hour to look over your finances and decide your budget for the season? If you are married, be sure to include your spouse in the budget-planning and talk honestly about what you can afford this year. Make sure your budget supports your personal financial goals, and still allows you to enjoy the holidays. No one wants to start the new year with more debt and money problems, especially when they can be avoided with a little planning.
4. Be honest with where you are at.
For some of us, we can’t wait to decorate the Christmas tree and start playing holiday music. Some of us already are. Others of us are grappling with grief. This is the first holiday season without a loved one around, or maybe the holidays this year land differently since the divorce. Or for some of us, we are navigating anxiety just thinking about the busyness of this time of year. Others of us are struggling to get into the Christmas spirit because we are discouraged by our current circumstances.
To feel things other than merry and bright this time of year doesn’t make you a Scrooge or a Grinch. It just makes you human. You don’t have to put on a fake smile and count down the days till the new year. Instead, bring your very real emotions to God and receive the comfort and care of the Holy Spirit. Open up to trusted friends and family for love and support, understanding and belonging. We all go through difficulties in life but we should never have to go through them alone.
5. Spend time with people who are refreshing to be around.
During this time of year we feel particularly obligated to spend time with family and friends, regardless of how they treat us. But why? Just because your family has always done holidays a certain way, doesn’t mean you need to continue the tradition… especially if that tradition puts you in a prolonged environment of criticism, judgment, hostility and strife. I’m not saying you should ghost your family or friends this time of year to avoid conflict. BUT, you can prayerfully consider the environments you are stepping into ahead of time and ask the Lord to give you wisdom. Maybe that means you opt out of traveling home this Christmas. Maybe that means you make the trip a little shorter. Maybe you set realistic expectations for what time with certain family and friends will be like, and commit to who you will be and how you will respond if/when you encounter something unhealthy, disrespectful, or just really annoying.
As much as you can, invest your time with people who are refreshing to be around. Make new traditions with fun and faithful friends. Prioritize nights at home with the kids watching old Christmas movies. Plan a date night with your spouse. Host your own Christmas party to spend quality time eating and laughing with those who are a source of joy and encouragement to you.
6. Practice generosity.
I’ll never forget the year in my mid-twenties when, at the last minute, my family plans changed, and I had nowhere to go for Christmas. I was so sad and depressed. Then on Christmas Eve, my pastors invited me to join their family for Christmas Day. When I arrived at their home, to my surprise, they had a whole pile of gifts waiting for me under the Christmas tree. The gifts were random things they could find late the night before at the only Walgreens that was still open. I got fuzzy socks, a mug, some toothbrushes and hair ties. Still to this day, they are some of the best gifts I have ever gotten. Because one family was generous, my potentially worst Christmas became one of my favorite memories.
We can all help make someone’s holidays a little better. We can all make a difference in someone else’s day or experience this time of year. If that’s serving with a local outreach in our neighborhood, volunteering at our church, buying a toy for a child who wouldn’t be getting one otherwise, or inviting someone you know is without plans on Christmas to join you and your family on Christmas Day… you can do something. And that something is always worth it.