15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”
20 Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) 21 When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”
22 Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” 23 Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”
-John 21:17-23 NIV
This passage was undoubtedly a defining moment in Peter’s life. Shortly after Jesus’ arrest, he had denied Jesus three times, though he swore he would never abandon Jesus. Peter was nowhere to be found at Jesus’ crucifixion, and though He had witnessed the empty tomb and seen the resurrected Jesus, he had returned to his trade as a fisherman. In his own eyes, he had disqualified himself from discipleship and apostleship.
Here we read that Jesus met Peter in his shame and disappointment, and lovingly restored Him– calling Him once again to shepherd His people. Peter experienced radical mercy and grace in this moment, a moment He would never forget and that would undeniably shape the way He led in the future.
Peter, a recipient of marvelous grace, then immediately does what we often do… he compares himself to a fellow disciple. Peter accepts the hardships that will accompany following Jesus, but he wants to know what hardships John will endure as well. Peter asks “Lord, what about him?”
Don’t we do the same? We accept the challenges that come our way, but we want to make sure we aren’t the only ones experiencing difficulties. And if someone else is succeeding in the places where we find ourselves struggling, we feel slighted unjustly. Why are they getting married, and I can’t even get a date? Why is their church growing so quickly and our attendance has plateaued ? How did they get invited to speak at that conference, and why can’t I get those opportunities? Why is their business expanding while I’m just trying to break even?
Jesus’ response to Peter’s unfiltered question is pretty blunt. Paraphrased, we could say Jesus said, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
That’s a hard pill to swallow, but a necessary dose of wisdom to take. When we compare ourselves to one another, we become discouraged, prideful, or both. God may choose to bless someone differently than He is currently blessing us, and that’s His prerogative. Instead of being frustrated by what God is doing in someone else’s life, you can praise God and be encouraged. The same God who is providing for them, can and will in His timing and His way provide for you, too!
So today, have you fallen into the comparison trap? Is there someone you are secretly envying or competing with? Pray and ask God for His mercy and grace. He’s good, He’s for you, and He wants to liberate you from the comparison trap.